I'll be seeing you.
Good morning...so nice to see you again as the sun rises above the horizon and the miracle of another day is once again upon us.
Well, I can kind of see you. And I'd see you much better if I could find my glasses! I know you probably think the fashionable spectacles I'm wearing in this photo of me are just a "prop"...but I assure you darling, they are not.
This woman clearly means business. And she's not a happy
camper! Oh dear. I'm sure she also thinks it's unnatural
to get a grey eyelash hair. And on that point I completely
I for one never imagined I'd need glasses. No one tells us these things when we're young maidens, reading teen romance magazines under the covers by flashlight at midnight...unable to fall asleep until we've found out who Bobby Sherman has yet again chosen to date, rather than us. That cad!
We take our perfect eyesight for granted, much like we take for granted the fact that we can inhale a box of Ring Dings without gaining an ounce. Also, at that gentle age, we take for granted that Ring Dings are actually something human beings should be fearlessly eating.
And then...one day....surprise! We finally know enough to read the ingredient list on the sides of questionable appropriate food items ~
but alas, we cannot read said lists without the aid of arm extensions.
Or extra-long cooking tongs.
And then the fun begins!
"I don't know why Aunt Mildred always complained about having
to wear glasses...these are absolutely adorable on me!"
It starts off innocently with one pair of "reading glasses" from the corner drug store ~ and you think to yourself, "These aren't so bad...look how hot I look! Kind of a sexy librarian thing." But before long, your love affair with your sultry little pair of glasses morphs into "The Dance of the Eyeglasses."
Suddenly you realize you are performing a daily ballet. Pirouetting and plie-ing and dancing from room to room... searching for your eyeglasses. After causing Tchaikovsky to roll over in his grave, you sometimes realize (not that this has EVER happened to moi', of course), that your eyeglasses are sitting upon your perfectly coiffed head. Or that they were left behind at your boyfriend's apartment, five hours away.
This, of course, is quite disturbing. And oft-times amusing to those witnessing your desperation.
Reading glasses come in many forms. Here is a pair specifically designed for the outdoors-woman!
Then you start to think you can outsmart this devilish new companion
of yours. And so, you purchase seven pair or reading glasses. Or you keep one pair, and make them your prisoner by hanging them from a decorative chain around your neck.
Jane Peterson, pictured wearing her new glasses on the evening
that her boyfriend, Rodney, proposed marriage. Thereby dispelling the myth that "boys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses."
But then the Universe, as always, has the last laugh because now you suddenly need glasses for, perhaps, more than just your perusal of the information on your bottle of probiotics. So now maybe you have three pair that are of varying strengths...or perform various duties. Reading. Driving. Watching your attractive neighbor as he navigates his driveway with the leaf blower. Or you may choose "progressives"...which I have an aversion to but that's just me. Because I have a clear vision of my lovely self, gracefully plummeting down a flight of stairs.
In your quest for the perfect pair of frames, you may find
yourself stopping perfect strangers to find out more details
about their eyewear. This is completely normal.
You think "this cannot be my plight!" I mean, there are benefits to not seeing as clearly as we did at age twelve, such as not seeing that occasional and rare grey eyelash (!!!)but it can still be disheartening
to need eyewear if you never needed glasses in your youth, and so, perhaps you begin researching ways to get your eyes back to optimal operating capacity. You Google things like "eye yoga" and suddenly, you are doing...eye yoga.
You also may find yourself in a tad bit of denial. I certainly have been. For me, the problem lies not so much in being anti-glasses (because glasses can be a fabulous and sexy fashion accessory, dearest!) it's about the fact that eyeglasses rarely stay put upon my face, since my nose is sorely lacking in the bridge department. But I'm adapting. And as usual, I'm not going down without a good fight.
Now I just need to find out if Lululemon sells special yoga clothing for an eyeball workout. ;)
In the end, we must accept our eyeballs with unconditional love, just as we accept the other perfectly imperfect parts of our glorious womanly temples of the flesh. We must embrace and enhance our ever-changing selves. Of course it does help if you have some kick-ass shades. Prescription, if at all possible.
I can't really see out of these without wearing my prescription glasses underneath...but I do look fabulous, don't I?!
As always, I wish you a glorious day...
and I bid you a gentle adieu ~ Sandi xo
ps ~ And...YES...I am eating my carrots. And you should be too, darling!