Pardon our appearance.

I was in a store recently on a continued and extensive search for new bedding for the new beds in my new home, and I came upon a sign that said something like, "Please pardon our appearance as we create a more pleasant experience for you."

Note: Not actual sign. This is my artistic interpretation, created for illustrative purposes. ;)

I mean, a big thank you to them for letting me know the reason behind the plastic drop cloth covering the decorative candle display, but I found the sentiment a bit presumptuous. Because how exactly do they know what I would consider a more pleasant experience? Will they be installing cozy velvet chairs with plump down-filled cushions for me to rest upon, and offering hot cocoa and complementary shoulder massages as I wait for the stock boy to find the right sized comforter in the back room?

Will there be live music? Will they be adding heated seats to their toilets?

I also thought how fun and satisfying it would be if we personally used that line in real life.

If we had a sign on our front door or sticker to attach to our clothing that said, "Please pardon my appearance as I create a more pleasant experience for you."

Like when we're not feeling especially sociable or friendly or happy or like when we don't give a rat's a**. Or when we're feeling depressed or discouraged or again, like we don't give a rat's a**. Or when we haven't gotten the bacon grease spatter stain out of our favorite shirt but are wearing it anyway or we've messed about with the scissors because we haven't had time to make a hair appointment or the cat threw up a hairball in the middle of the night and we forgot to clean it up the next day and it now simply looks like a long-forgotten dead mouse in the far corner of our living room.

It could also work well when the cable sales guy is attempting to pressure you into something you don't want. Rather than getting your panties all in a bunch, a civilized, "Please pardon my appearance as I create a more pleasant experience for you" would allow you to float away in a greatly fulfilled cloud of mystery, as the offending party sat there utterly perplexed.

I have nothing more to share at the moment.

KIDDING!

Behold, my official License Plate of the Day. (Actually, this is a two-for-one treat. License Plates. And I did actually see both of these within an hour of one another. Oh, what a lucky girl am I?)

Sighting location: Public Works Department parking lot. I'm thinking that even

if this person is exhibiting their rapier wit, perhaps they are secretly quite bitter

regarding the white stuff. I mean, hating snow and continuing to live in Maine is

masochism at its finest.

Sighting Location: Walmart Parking Lot

As I strolled back to my car, with my $2.97 curtain rod in hand, I thought this license plate said BKASQRL. And, loving a good mystery, I thought, "What could that mean? What could BK a squirrel mean?" Since it was a Maine vehicle and parked at a Walmart, I thought...Bake a Squirrel. Of course! This person is an advocate of squirrel-eating, and is probably inside purchasing a new roasting pan right now, prepping for dinner. As I got closer I noticed it actually read, BK 4 SQRL.

And the car owner is not a squirrel eater, but rather, a lover of the little darlings. This is the person one of us will most likely rear-end one day. During acorn season.

And now, I shall bid you adieu. May your evening hours be magical and free from snow and squirrels...and may you create "a more pleasant experience" for yourself and others. Ommmmmm.

xo

Sandi (This font is called "Lobster"... which is sufficient reason to use it.)

I encourage you to share my words, and spread the love, support and laughter...because Sharing is Caring, Darling. ;)

Featured Posts
Posts Are Coming Soon
Stay tuned...
Recent Posts
Archive
Search By Tags
Follow Us
  • Facebook Basic Square
  • Twitter Basic Square
  • Google+ Basic Square
Show your undying love
and devotion in a way that is completely legal and
not creepy.
Follow Me.  
  • Black Instagram Icon
  • Black YouTube Icon
  • Black Facebook Icon
This site is powered by a heart full of love, an ocean of tears, an irrepressible life force
...and an unapologetic sense of humor.

© 2020 Sandi Amorello, Inc., All rights reserved. If you'd like to "borrow" any content on this site, please use your good mannersand ask first. Or karma shall indeed bite you in the bottom. Thank you. xxoo