Cats, Crystals and Commitment.
Good Morning, Darlings! And happy Sunday. It's beautiful and sunshine-y here and I hope it's the same wherever you are.
Today, I have another video to share. As you may or may not know from blogs or videos I've posted in the past (which you may or may not have read or watched), I've made a commitment to
myself and the Universe to post a video each week. With some sort of subject matter that will be of value to at least one human being on this planet. Whether it saves their life or just makes them laugh for thirty seconds and adds a spot of brightness to their day.
But technology does not always cooperate with our heartfelt commitments and intentions. And so,
this video, which I prepared on Friday and was feeling so pleased with myself about getting "out there" on time, of course, did not end up getting "out there" on time. At all! Let's just blame Apple and the blankety-blank "CLOUD" and DropMail and AirDrop (which is probably the same thing!) and any other technical term using the word "drop" in its title. Then we can blame Steve Jobs and the evolution of man and technology and whatever else may make me feel like I'm off the hook. The thing is, as upsetting as it is when things don't go as planned, it's still sitting in our lap. And blaming anything or anyone and whining only prolongs our existential suffering.
So here I am, on Sunday. Posting this. Because, well, Friday wasn't apparently in my video cards and Saturday didn't seem like a day anyone would be sitting around looking to watch a video about an
incident related to one of my geriatric felines and a hunk of rock.
But SUNDAY...ahhh...now Sunday conjures up images of lazy-ing about in a comfy, cozy November
bed and actually perusing videos and blog posts of the enlightening and amusing variety. And so, here I am. One and a half days late...but still, I am showing up. Because I am committed!
"Yes! Crystals, incense and heart-felt intention can help you locate your missing feline!"
As an aside: I am aware that I am not currently putting out video content that looks well-rehearsed or that has involved a plethora of planning and/or collaborations with video "professionals" for advice
or help with lighting, sound, backdrop, content, etc.
I've done that before. When I was creating videos to promote my book, The Irreverent Widow. Way back in 2012 or whenever that was. It feels like another century! They turned out pretty great. And that is partly because they cost a LOT of money and I paid a LOT of people.
And although last year I did do a lot of internet research on things like, "Creating a Video Studio in your Home!" and "How to create professional lighting using things you can purchase at Home Depot" and I do now currently own light stands and tripods and have lights concocted of things like shower curtain liners and clothespins...I don't really want to get hung up on that part of it. (I will keep upgrading and learning and gradually, I can assure you I will become a kick-ass editor and will be entirely technically amazing at all of this!)
But right now, I am more focused on creating "perfectly imperfect" content. And on my own survival. As I mentioned in my "pre-Halloween-video" video from a few weeks ago, I am doing my best to do what lights me up inside, and to love myself, and be kind to myself...so that I can keep healing and waking up every day. And actually feel excited to be alive again. Because for those first three years after my son Cole passed on, I really didn't feel excited about anything. Including waking up each day. Although at times I did put on a good show. And I indeed did have many moments of happiness and love. They just didn't fill up enough of my life. Or make anything truly feel okay.
Now it's three and a half years, and that half a year doesn't suddenly make it all just fine and dandy. I'm just taking better care of myself now and ready to engage in life more deeply again. And although time does NOT heal (I have always known that to be utter BS), time does allow for transformation and renewal and a softening. The pain simply isn't right under the surface anymore. And we learn to carry it with us in healthier ways.
I know many of you have been through heart-wrenching and soul-crushing events in life, as well.
I know I'm not the only one.
My intent with these videos, this blog, this website, the services I intend to offer and the products
I intend to create and share is two-fold:
#1. To keep my inner flame lit and to give my life meaning and a sense of joy again.
#2. To share that with others and uplift and add something valuable and positive to their life.
So as you can see, I'm not selfless. I'm not a martyr. I'm not really doing this for others or to save the world. I'm doing this to keep myself out of the pit of despair. And to focus on what I love most about myself. And the things I love most about others. And about life.
And also, I'm doing this for Cole. And for Drew. Because they were such bright and shining lights in the world. And because they'd be seriously annoyed with me if I didn't keep tapping into my inner joy and doing what lights me up. Even if only one other person in the Universe related to it or appreciated it.
I am truly grateful for all of you who read my heartfelt words and watch my shenanigans and want to
join me on this wild ride that is life and loss and healing and a path back to joy. It means a lot to me. Because connection is part of the path to healing, too. And I'm honored to be included as a little sliver in the pie that is your life. And now that I've said that, I'm totally wanting a piece of warm apple pie with vanilla ice cream for my Sunday breakfast. ;)
Sending out much Sunday love and a huge hug ~ Sandi
ps - Please share my blogs, videos and any inspirational tidbits with your friends, family, or anyone on the planet to whom you want to spread some love, support and laughter. I really need your help in getting the word out so I can reach more people! Many thanks. You rock. xo