Breaking News!
I added half a banana to my green smoothie today!
My cat peed in her litter box last night!
The next door neighbor was using his leaf blower at 7:15 this morning!
Do you watch television? Specifically, television news? Does it make
your life better? Do you ever imagine your life's momentous updates being
broadcast for everyone to see every six minutes? (Oh wait! That's what
some people actually do on social media.)
I ditched my television set approximately six years ago. It felt weird at
first, but it was ultimately so liberating. I still fondly recall carrying it out
to the garage and plunking it down next to the recycling bin. Or was
it the old hamster cage? Whichever.
It's not that I'm against watching entertaining or informative things.
I do have a Netflix subscription. And I did purchase a "smart tv" a few
Novembers ago and signed up for two months of cable for the sole
purpose of watching the following:
A. A Charlie Brown Christmas, A Christmas Story
and Christmas Vacation, et al with my grown children –
because the scene with the Bumpus Hounds must absolutely be
enjoyed on something larger than a laptop screen, when possible.
B. The Hallmark Channel's ridiculously delusional Christmas movies.
Because what single woman doesn't have a fantastic time eating
popcorn, drinking wine and making minute-by-minute hilarious
commentary while watching Hallmark Christmas movies?
But I did indeed end my cable tv subscription after those two months,
and at the moment my smart tv is in storage. And I love it there.
But there's a slight complication. As a few of you may know by now,
I've been staying at my mother's house the past couple of months.
And my mother's house has...a TV.
Capital T. Capital V.
It's in a place of prominence and with the pre-election and election
craziness, I've gotten completely sucked into watching said TV.
And let me tell you, my depression levels have sky-rocketed!
Because television news is horrible for the soul. At least for mine.
It is fear inducing. Anxiety producing. And while we're watching the
same stuff being regurgitated over and over...the precious moments
of our brief lives are passing us by.
And so, I am once again saying good-bye to television. I'll lock myself
in the bedroom if I must...with ear plugs. As Julie Andrews so eloquently
put it whilst prancing through the Alps:
"So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, good bye!"
I want no more BREAKING NEWS. I want no more updates.
I will go back to getting the news on my terms. Much in the same way
I decide whose calls I will let go to voicemail. And if and when I will
return someone's text. (Does this sound rude? It's not...it's a little
something called FREE WILL.)
And we need to take it back!
I realize we are in trying times. But please consider turning off the television.
And if you don't even own one...kudos to you! You may be shocked at how
much happier you are. How much more you can hear your inner GPS.
And that the world keeps spinning.
And if our president sets the White House on fire, I'm pretty certain we''ll
all still hear about it.
But at least we'll have been enjoying life in the meantime!
And on that note, your correspondent in Saigon is signing off.
Peace be with us all. ;)
